By Joan Hughes
 

It was twenty years since cars were given a vote in the World
Government.  Now there were more cars than people and they had
been made to live longer.  Not ordinary cars mind you, (they
had been made obsolete years ago), but ones with an artificial
intelligence, their personality modelled in the image of the
human who first programmed their computer.  Minnie had been
programmed by a bird watcher who had painted her yellow.  Her
steering column had a tendency to wobble when a feathered
creature flew overhead.

  One day Minnie said to the man who she still used to drive
her, "I'd like to drive to the Lake District for a holiday."

  "But you won't meet many other cars there," said John.
"It's where humans go to walk.  There's not so many
opportunities for us to walk now that you cars are doing so
well."

  "You know," said Minnie, "that I do like to get away from
other cars sometimes, and watch the humans and animals at
play.  It really gives me a buzz."

  So John and Minnie travelled north.  Minnie could drive
herself on the daily shopping trips for the family's food and
get her own petrol and oil when necessary.  John had little to
do.  His wife, Alice, kept tidy the inside of the house, and
the garden, his domain, was at present covered with plastic
sheeting to keep down the weeds.  He could have employed a
household robot, but thought his wife would do instead.  Oddly
enough, John and Minnie shared one characteristic.  They liked
each other's company and doing jobs that were not strictly
necessary.  Living too efficiently was a bore.  Best of all,
they liked doing nothing at all.

  One day when they were listening to the radio, the announcer
said, "The World Government has voted to give humans two votes
and cars only one."

  "Do you mind that?" said John to Minnie.

  "I don't like the sound of it," she replied.  "We've had
equal rights legislation for years - one car, one vote; one
human, one vote."

  John wondered how the World Government had managed to return
overall power to the human population.  He realised that
vetoes must have been involved, especially those given by long
tradition to the American and Russian leaderships, who it
appeared, were now allied against the cars.  A few days later,
the power of the humans was seen to be as frail as paper.
Their paper power was threatened when a group of cars
surrounded the World Government building, keeping the humans
inside until they had overturned the vote.

  Something which John didn't tell Minnie made him forget his
mundane affairs.  In the Lake District, a group of humans were
meeting to discuss the question, "How can we reassert our
rights?  Cars are dominating our lives now."

  Alice and the children had travelled on ahead and were
camping.  John and Minnie followed.  He dumped her in the road
before he climbed the low hills to a place where cars could
not go.  The holiday was idyllic.  Cooking over a camp-fire.
The tarn provided pure drinking water.  But it had its serious
side in the evening meetings when the subject of car monopoly
was talked over.  No clear plan of action emerged, and the
humans left after the fortnight was up in a subdued mood.
When John and his family descended to the road they found that
Minnie had vanished.  There was no way to get home.  John
turned on his pocket radio to hear the news.

  "Cars have taken over the national governments all over the
world.  In our own parliament, the Prime Minister is now Car
Margo XYZ 123.  A vote has been taken.  In future cars are in
charge.  They attend all the committees and do all the
talking.  Humans will have to get busy on their own manual
work."

  The bulletin gave the impression that humans would be the
slaves to produce more cars.

  Alice said, "It's a relief really.  Petrol is running out.
They can only do short journeys.  We may be left up here in
the mountains."  She misunderstood completely and in her
misunderstanding sorted everything out.

  Alice, John and the children were left alone.  They managed
to subsist on food stocks and by killing mountain sheep.
There was much disorder and many deaths because transport was
breaking down.  The humans started a campaign of sabotage.
Although the robot cars were programmed to mend themselves and
cope with everything, they could not do so if their programmes
were unprogrammed, so to speak.  Every time they could get
into a car the people smashed the computer.  Someone got into
the National Computer Company and blew it up.  Controlled
explosions were happening everywhere, making people feel like
modern Luddites.  Meanwhile the cars were running out of
petrol and trying out various strengths and types of alcohol.
Incredibly, although they had been originally programmed to
look after human beings, even with an intact computer they did
not know how to look after themselves.  Not only were cars
careering wildly on wrong proof alcohol, the people would not
harvest the crops from which the alcohol was made.  The people
were saved.

  The next run of cars (yes, cars were preserved) were small
and there were no computers in them.  Trains and coaches and
tractors also reverted to manual operation.  The new cars
could no longer talk to the people or dictate to them.
  At length John and Alice thought it safe to come back to
London from the Lake District.  They were surprised to see
Minnie sitting in the garage.

  "Should I keep her, or smash the computer?" thought John.
He listened while she explained that she had answered the call
to surround the National Government building but the traffic
jam had been so enormous that she had been frightened of being
crushed and she had beetled back home.  She was pleased with
herself that her bumpers were still intact.

John felt sympathy for her.  "Not much petrol left, Minnie,"
he said as he turned the ignition key.  "I think your life is
over."
 

  "It doesn't matter.  I don't like alcohol and I never did
get on with other cars.  Flashing their gold trim at my
chrome.  Just turn my engine on and take me for one last
drive."

  "Where do you want to go?"

  "Down to the seaside."

  When they got there John got out and watched Minnie drive
into the sea and sink.  As her yellow bonnet disappeared
beneath the waves he thought what a lovely submarine she would
make.

  In the weeks to come John missed Minnie.  He could not talk
to his new little car.  But it was for the best.  He began to
hold exciting and stimulating discussions with his family and
other people instead.  He even dug the garden.
 

1142 words  approx.