Chapter 6: A Little Shopping
As He spoke, we came
suddenly out of the woodland into a short street of handsomely built
houses, which my companion named to me at once as Piccadilly: the lower
part of these houses I should have called shops, if it had not been that,
as far as I could see, the people were ignorant of the arts of buying and
selling. Wares were displayed in their finely designed fronts, as if to
tempt people in, and people stood and looked at them, or went in and came
out with parcels under
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their arms, just like
the real thing. On each side of the street ran an elegant arcade to
protect foot-passengers, as in some of the old Italian cities. About
half-way down, a huge building of the kind I was now prepared to expect
told me that this was a center of some kind, and had its special public
buildings.
Said Dick: "Here, you see, is
another market on a different plan from most others: the upper stories of
these houses are used for guest-houses; for people from all over the
country are apt to drift up hither from time to time, as folks are very
thick upon the ground, which you will see evidence of presently, and
there are people who are fond of crowds, though I can't say that I am. "
I couldn't help smiling to see how long a
tradition would last. Here was the ghost of London still asserting itself
as a centre, -- an intellectual centre, for aught I knew. However, I
said nothing, except that I asked him to drive very slowly as the things
in the booth looked e
xceedingly pretty.
"Yes," said he, this is a
very good market for pretty things, and is mostly kept for the handsomer
goods, as the Houses-of Parliament market, where they set out cabbages
and turnips and such like things, along with beer and the rougher kind
of wine, is so near."
Then he looked at me
curiously, and said,"Perhaps you would like to do a little shopping, as
'tis called."
I looked at what I could see of
my rough blue duds, which I had plenty of opportunity of contrasting with
the gay attire of the citizens we had come across; and I thought that if,
as seemed likely, I should presently be shown about as a curiosity for
the amusement of this most unbusinesslike people,
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I should like to look a little less like a discharged
ship's purser. But in spite of all that had happened, my hand went down
to my pocket again where to my dismay it met nothing metallic except two
rusty old keys, and I remembered that amidst our talk in the guest-hall
at Hammersmith I had taken the cash out of my pocket to show to the
pretty Annie, and had left it lying there. My face fell fifty per cent.,
and Dick, beholding me, said rather sharply:
"Hillo, Guest! what's the matter now? is it a
wasp?"
"No," said I, but I've left it behind.
"Well," said he,whatever you have left behind,
you can get into this market again, so don't trouble yourself about it."
I had come to my senses by this time, and
remembering the astounding customs of this country, had no mind for
another lecture on social economy and the Edwardian coinage; so I said
only:
"My clothes -- Couldn't I? You see --
What do you think could be done about them?"
He didn't seem in the least inclined to laugh, but
said quite gravely:
"O don't get new clothes
yet. You see my great-grandfather is an antiquarian, and he will want to
see you just as you are. And, you know, I mustn't preach to you but
surely it wouldn't be right for you to take away people's pleasure of
studying your attire, by just going and making yourself like everybody
else. "You feel that, don't you?" said he, earnestly.
I did not feel it my duty to set myself
up for a scarecrow amidst this beauty-loving people but I saw I had got
across some ineradicable prejudice, and that it wouldn't do to quarrel
with my new friend. So I merely said "O certainly, certainly."
"Well," said he, pleasantly, you may as well see
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what the inside of these booths is like: think
of something you want."
Said I: "Could I get
some tobacco and a pipe?"
"Of course," said
he; what was I thinking of, not asking you before? Well, Bob is always
telling me that we non-smokers are a selfish lot, and I'm afraid he is
right. But come along; here is a place just handy."
Therewith he drew rein and jumped down, and I
followed. A very handsome woman, splendidly clad in figured silk, was
slowly passing by, looking into the windows as she went. To her quoth
Dick: "Maiden, would you kindly hold our horse while we go in for a
little while?" She nodded to us with a kind smile, and fell to patting
the horse with her pretty hand.
"What a
beautiful creature!" said I to Dick as we entered.
"What, old Greylocks?" said he, with a sly grin.
"No, no," said I; Goldylocks, -- the lady.
"Well, so she is," said he. Tis a good job there
are so many of them that every Jack may have his Jill; else I fear that
we should get fighting for them. Indeed," said he, becoming very
grave, "I don't say that it does not happen even now, sometimes. For
you know love is not a very reasonable thing, and perversity and
self-will are commoner than some of our moralists think." He added, in a
still more sombre tone: "Yes, only a month ago there was a mishap down by
us, that in the end cost the lives of two men and a woman, and, as it
were, put out the sunlight for us for a while. Don't ask me about it just
now; I may tell you about it later on."
By
this time we were within the shop or booth, which had a counter, and
shelves on the walls, all very neat, though without any pretence of
showiness,
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but otherwise not very different
to what I had been used to. Within were a couple of children -- a
brown-skinned boy of about twelve, who sat reading a book, and a pretty
little girl of about a year older, who was sitting also reading behind
the counter; they were obviously brother and sister.
"Good morning, little neighbours," said Dick. My
friend here wants tobacco and a pipe; can you help him?-"
"O yes, certainly," said the girl with a sort of
demure alertness which was somewhat amusing. The boy looked up, and fell
to staring at my outlandish attire, but presently reddened and turned his
head, as if he knew that he was not behaving prettily.
"Dear neighbour," said the girl, with the most
solemn countenance of child playing at keeping shop, "what tobacco is
it that you would like?"
"Latakia," quoth I,
feeling as if I were assisting at a child's game, and wondering whether I
should get anything but make-believe.
But the
girl took a dainty little basket from a shelf beside her, went to a jar,
and took out a lot of tobacco and put the filled basket down on the
counter before me, where I could both smell and see that it was excellent
Latakia.
"But you haven't weighed it," said I,
and -- and how much of it am I to take?"
"Why," she said, I advise you to cram your bag,
because you may be going where you can't get Latakia, Where is your bag?"
I fumbled about, and at last pulled out my
piece of cotton print which does duty with me for a tobacco pouch. But
the girl looked at it with some disdain, and said:
"Dear neighbour, I can give you something much
better than that cotton rag." And she tripped up
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the shop and came back presently, and as she passed the
boy whispered something in his ear, and he nodded and got up and went
out. The girl held up in her finger and thumb a red morocco bag, gaily
embroidered, and said, "There, I have chosen one for you, and you are to
have it: it is pretty, and will hold a lot."
Therewith she fell to cramming it with the
tobacco, and laid it down by me and said, "Now for the pipe: that also
you must let me choose for you; there are three pretty ones just come
in."
She disappeared again, and came back with
a big-bowled pipe in her hand, carved out of some hard wood very
elaborately and mounted in gold sprinkled with little gems. It was, in
short, as pretty and gay a toy as I had ever seen; something like the
best kind of Japanese work, but better.
"Dear me!" said I, when I set my eyes on it, this
is altogether too grand for me, or for anybody but the Emperor of the
World. Besides, I shall lose it: I always lose my pipes."
The child seemed rather dashed, and said, "Don't
you like it, neighbour?"
"O yes," I said, of
course I like it." "Well, then take it, said she, and don't trouble
about losing it. What will it matter if you do? Somebody is sure to find
it, and he will use it, and you can get another."
I took it out of her hand to look at it, and while
I did so, forgot my caution, and said, "But however am I to pay for such
a thing as this?"
Dick laid his hand on my
shoulder as I spoke, and turning I met his eyes with a comical expression
in them, which warned me against another exhibition of extinct commercial
morality; so I reddened and held my tongue, while the girl simply looked
at me
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with the deepest gravity, as if I were
a foreigner blundering in my speech, for she clearly didn't understand me
a bit.
"Thank you so very much," I said at
last, effusively, as I put the pipe in my pocket, not without a qualm of
doubt as to whether I shouldn't find myself before a magistrate
presently.
"O, you are so very welcome," said
the little lass, with an affectation of grown-up manners at their best
which was very quaint. "It is such a pleasure to serve dear old gentlemen
like you; specially when one can see at once that you have come from far
over sea."
"Yes, my dear," quoth I, I have
been a great traveller."
As I told this lie
from pure politeness, in came the lad again, with a tray in his hands, on
which I saw a long flask and two beautiful glasses. "Neighbours," said
the girl (who did all the talking, her brother being very shy, clearly),
"please to drink a glass to us before you go since we do not have guests
like this every day."
Therewith the boy put
the tray on the counter and solemnly poured out a straw-coloured wine
into the long bowls. Nothing loth, I drank, for I was thirsty with the
hot day; and thinks I, I am yet in the world, and the grapes of the Rhine
have not yet lost their flavour; for if ever I drank good Steinberg, I
drank it that morning; and I made a mental note to ask Dick how they
managed to make fine wine when there were no longer labourers compelled
to drink rot-gut instead of the fine wine which they themselves made.
"Don't you drink a glass to us, dear little
neighbours?" said I.
"I don't drink wine,"
said the lass; I like lemonade better; but I wish your health!"
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"And I like
ginger-beer better," said the little lad.
Well, well, thought I, neither have children's
tastes changed much. And therewith we gave them good day and went out of
the booth.
To my disappointment, like a
change in a dream, a tall old man was holding our horse instead of the
beautiful woman. He explained to us that the maiden could not wait, and
that he had taken her place; and he winked at us and laughed when he saw
how our faces fell so that we had nothing for it but to laugh also.
"Where are you going?" said he to Dick.
"To Bloomsbury," said Dick.
"If you two don't want to be alone, I'll come with
you," said the old man.
"All right," said
Dick, tell me when you want to get down and I'll stop for you. Let's get
on."
So we got under way again; and I asked if
children generally waited on people in the markets. "Often enough," said
he, "when it isn't a matter of dealing with heavy weights, but by no
means always. The children like to amuse themselves with it, and it is
good for them, because they handle a lot of diverse wares and get to
learn about them, how they are made, and where they come from, and so on.
Besides, it is such very easy work that anybody can do it. It is said
that in the early days of our epoch there were a good many people who
were hereditarily afflicted with a disease called idleness, because they
were the direct descendants of those who in the bad times used to force
other
people to work for them -- the people, you know, who are called
slave-holders or employers of labour in the history books. Well, these
Idleness-stricken people used to serve booths all their time,
because they were fit for so little. Indeed, I believe that at one time
they were actually compelled
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to
do some such work, because, they, especially the women, got so ugly and
produced such ugly children if their disease was not treated sharply,
that the neighbours couldn't stand it. However I am happy to say that all
that is gone by now; the disease is either extinct, or exists in such a
mild form that a short course of aperient medicine carries it off. It is
sometimes called the Blue devils now, or the Mulleygrubs. Queer names,
ain't they?"
"Yes," said I, pondering much.
But the old man broke in:
"Yes, all that is
true, neighbour; and I have seen some of those women grown old. But my
father used to know some of them when they were young; and he said that
they were as little like young women as might be: they had hands like
bunches of skewers, and wretched little arms like sticks; and waists like
hour-glasses, and thin lips and peaked noses and pale cheeks; and they
were always pretending to be offended at anything you said or did to
them. No wonder they bore ugly children, for no one except men like them
could be in love with them -- poor things!"
He
stopped, and seemed to be musing on his past life, and then said:
"And do you know, neighbours, that once on a time
people were still anxious about that disease of Idleness: at one time we
gave ourselves a great deal of trouble in trying to cure people of it.
Have you not read any of the medical books on the subject?"
"No," said I; for the old man was speaking to me.
"Well," said he, it was thought at the time that
it was the survival of the old mediæval disease of leprosy: it
seems it was very catching for many of the people afflicted by it were
much secluded, and
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were waited upon by a
special class of diseased persons queerly dressed up, so that they might
be known. They wore amongst other garments, breeches made of worsted
velvet, that stuff that used to be called plush some years ago."
All this seemed very interesting to me, and I
should like to have made the old man talk more. But Dick got rather
restive under so much ancient history: besides, I suspect he wanted to
keep me as fresh as he could for his great-grandfather. So he burst out
laughing at last, and said: "Excuse me, neighbours, but I can't help it.
Fancy people not liking to work! -- it's too ridiculous. Why, even you
like to work, old fellow -- sometimes," said he, affectionately patting
the old horse with the whip. "What a queer disease! it may well be
called Mulleygrubs!"
And he laughed out again
most boisterously, rather too much so, I thought, for his usual good
manners; and I laughed with him for company's sake, but from the teeth
outward only; for I saw nothing funny in people not liking to
work, as you may well imagine.